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The restaurant was amazing, but leave it to me to make it more awesome by unleashing a barrage of sexual exploits and talking so loud that the boys at the other table could clearly hear me. As I talked, I noticed a lot of people paying attention to me. Instead of looks of disgust, there were looks of intrigue. People genuinely wanted to hear what I had to say about dicks fucking assholes. The haters were staring daggers at me, but I could not have given a shit any less. All those assholes were watching me steal all of the attention in order to talk about how much of a sassy skank I was over the course of my career. I was on a roll.My stories of mischief became notorious after that weekend. People wanted to hear more about my past, present, and future. No matter what the haters said, I was undeniable as a force. Similar transpired the following month when I travelled to Cologne for Fasching, essentially the equivalent to Mardi Gras, but in Germany. In honor of the German holiday week,. "Boy are you the ladies man or what?" Jen smirked.I held both my hands out palms up in a questioning manner.Kim laughed, "We were listening in on the upstairs extensions." And then in amock-loving voice, placing her hands over her heart and feigning lovesickness she said, "I find you to be an extremely attractive young woman. And I did not use the adjective 'extremely' out of sheer habit. If anything, 'extremely' is far too inadequate a word to describe just how lovely you really are." Oh, listening on the extensions huh." I said."You had her eating right out of your hand Sam." Jen said. "If she didn't wet her panties I'll eat them. You talked to her like a man does to a woman, and you suggested going places that only men and women go to, not out to some movie or the local malt shop like I'm sure she was expecting. You're good Sam. I'm impressed." I just hope it doesn't backfire." I said hoping I hadn't just put a noose around my neck. I was extremely worried about that driving lust I.
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