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He made some key strokes. “Your new orders are in the printer” as he pointed to the machine. Two weeks later at 0600 hours we were loading the back of his minivan with our duffle bags. I hung my Class-A uniform behind the driver’s seat. He asked why I was bringing my Class-A. I explained that my grandfather was a Korean Conflict vet and living in an assisted living facility. My mother wanted me to wear it when I visited him, as he would want to show me off to the other residents. Sgt. Holmes gave me a knowing nod. Then he shocked me when he said that a good looking guy like me in uniform would have to beat off the nurses at the home. Uh oh. Sgt Homo thinks I’m a good looking guy. What if he was gay? What if he did make a move on me? Would I really have to kick the dog shit out of him? Later as we rode along in silence I began to think about what he had said. I’m not gay. There were times when I wondered what it would be like to lie down with another man. Often in the showers I. Admittedly it’s not as bad as pre CBD days when I would wake up and go “Not this shit again.” meaning the pain. If you’ve ever studied any body discipline - Gymnastics, Karate, Ballroom Dancing. It’s especially upsetting when your body quits listening to you. Don’t get me wrong, at the moment, It’s more like I’m about 1 beer shy of a snootful. Tipsy, but not sloppy drunk. Typing is becoming a bitch as well. I’ve had to start using a cane for my own safety as I never know when this shit will start or stop.My family told me that my spoken vocabulary has drifted to that of a child’s. I hadn’t noticed and had to ask what they meant. They said I use a lot fewer multi-syllable words. Once, I thought about it I saw their point. Small words are easier for me to pronounce. The CBD doesn’t erase the Aphasia completely. It eases a lot of the smaller episodes but it doesn’t fix the disorder. So I guess I started taking the easy way out. Usually, a small word will work. “Fuck,” works I have.
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