What about masturbation?" I asked."Out of the question," she answered."why?" I was raised to think that down there was a forbidden place. The only time I was allowed to touch it wasto wash or wipe. The only other times it was acceptable to give it attention was making babies and birthing them." you didn't touch yourself when you entered puberty?" No. The church made it patently clear. That was a sin. The only ones allowed to touchyou down there were your doctor and your husband. The doctor did, and my husband didn't. And to tell youthe truth, I liked it when the doctor did. I just couldn't tell him." Nobody ever mentioned that sex was a highly pleasurable thing?" There were a couple girls in school who talked about it. But they were considered tramps. My mother always stressed to me the value of a good reputation." What did you do when you got aroused? Surely you got turned on now and then." Oh yes I did. I knew I couldn't talk to my mother, so I asked the school nurseabout it. She. Then he wiped her tears using his finger and put it back into her mouth, this time much deeper. He started pushing his finger in and out her throat, deeper than she would have thought possible, making indecent sounds resembling those of a forced (or voluntary and enthusiastic) fellatio. She felt she’d choke, but Peter didn’t let up. Lily opened her mouth as wide as she could to let her breath in, but it did not matter as passage to her longs was blocked more often than not. He took his finger out after a while. Lily’s eyes had teared up, her chest heaving faster from the lack of air to her lungs. She gasped a few times for precious oxygen, holding her aching throat and then resumed her position with her hands at her side, looking very close to breaking into sobs. But she could not bring herself to cry – she almost never cried – she looked at him with pleading but resigned eyes, as though bracing for next indignity she would be subjected to. She did not have to wait long. Peter put.
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