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The Mayans learned how to make bouncing balls from rubber trees and rigged something similar to a basketball goal on the side of the bleachers. The players had to get the ball through the stone hoop by using their hips, not their arms. Other dramatic rules governed play. The losers had their hearts cut out as a sacrifice to the gods. I guess the practice created lots of openings on the teams for new players. That added a new and grotesque meaning to the term, "player draft."As we drove north toward our next destination, Pisté, we noticed along the road that many of the scrub trees had glass and plastic bottles impaled on the limbs. For several miles, we kept speculating about the purpose of the bottles, since it took a fair amount of labor to cover a tree with them. It is amazing how much idle speculation comes about when one is purely ignorant. I often used an old Mark Twain quote in my classes: "Ignorance isn't so much not knowing anything; it is knowing for sure so many things. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people’s love advice is hilarious and genius!The query:Dear Tech Support,Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.What can I do?Signed, DesperateThe response (that came weeks later out of the blue):Dear Desperate,First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html.
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