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Her lovers would phone, when I was home, and she would leave to meet them. I stayed, for the sake of the children. They needed one stable parent in the home. When she died, it was a relief. I never mourned the loss, like you mourned Michael. There was no need. I had mourned the loss of my marriage years before. Her death, was the finality I sought. Her death gave me freedom. Funny, when we first met, and married, we had a satisfying sexual relationship. When she started having the affairs, I lived a life of celibacy, not wanting to be the one who stepped out on his spouse, so she could ask me for a divorce." Michael was my first lover, I was a virgin when we married. That was important to me, that I was able to give him that part of me, on our wedding night. I haven't been with another man either. I know that celibacy is not easy, the urges, the desires, don't just go away. They linger on, a sweet torture of what once was. Michael and I had a wonderful sex life. When. You wanted me to bring another woman into our bed. Yet you didn't want to touch her, didn’t want to be involved in a threesome. No, you wanted to watch while I and another woman enjoyed each other. The major obstacle to all that was quite simple: I am straight. I’m totally without any desire whatsoever to play around with another woman. Unfortunately, you could not come to terms with this situation. Because I had a lot of sexual female pictures in my tumblr, because I posted sexy pictures of women, you couldn’t understand that I was not attracted to them. No matter what I said, you could not understand. Over our last few days, this single subject would crop up in every conversation. There was never an end. Your life seemed consumed by it. For my part, I could not understand why I wasn't I enough for you. If you loved me so much, why did you need another woman involved? So we were at a standstill, an impasse, going nowhere. Our time together was spent on this issue. On the final day.
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