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And write. But the writing hadn’t been going so well. He knew he had a story to tell and knew that writing it would be his catharsis, his therapy. It would be the only way he could heal.There was another thing that bothered him. It bothered him a lot. And he blamed the war for that too.Travis was impotent. Never was before, but was now. He couldn’t remember exactly when he’d last had a hard-on, but it was sometime after he saw his first platoonmate perish before his eyes and sometime before he’d almost had his own leg blown off.He’d tried many times since to get hard and jerk off, but without success. He’d about given up.----A few days later Travis was sitting on his porch drinking an Orange Crush. It was late afternoon and he was resting. He had just returned from town and was taking a rest before whipping up some supper. He heard a familiar sound. It was the same putt-putt-putt of the outboard motor he’d heard a few days earlier when he’d had his visitors. As the sound got louder. We all thought we was goin' crazy. We still don't know where they went."I couldn't stay home. I rode back out to the little building they let us use as a clubhouse. I ain't ashamed to say I spent most of the night cryin' and pulling my hair tryin' to think of somethin'. I started in on the beer after a while and then stopped. Figured I'd be no use to anyone if I got trashed. Some of us, well, a few decided it was too much. A couple took a bullet and a couple tried liquor and pills. Hell, I don't know how I would have stood it if I'd went to my neighbors house who was supposed to be watchin' my kids and found my kids toys and backpacks and no kids. I can't fault them for what they did."I figured we was lucky that most of us old sailors had been through rough shit before and just got stinkin' drunk hoping things would be better in the morning. Course it wasn't and after a few days more and more guys started drifting over to the club house. We decided to look for others that might have.
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