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If I can just die after lunch on Tuesday, everything will be perfect.”Mickey Lolich, Detroit Tigers pitcher: “All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, ‘See, there is a fat guy doing great. Bring me another beer.’”Tommy Lasorda, Los Angeles Dodgers manager: “I found out that it’s not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad I’m having them.”E.J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his twelve knee operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.”Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an ice cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.”Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles: “I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.”John Breen, Houston Oilers: “We were tipping off our plays. Whenever we broke from the huddle,. To my right, Brown-jacket was doing the same. Gray-jacket kicked off his left shoe and reached into his backpack. He yanked out a folding-stock AK-47 and was inserting a magazine when I fired my first shot. The range was less than 20 feet and my aiming point was his right eye. A jet of pink mist exploded out of his face and I swung my sights to where Brown-jacket was sitting. There was a rifle in his hands and his head was turned toward me, his mouth wide with shock. A hole appeared in his upper lip and a spray of red painted the potted plant behind him.That’s two.Screams and the chatter of automatic weapons fire erupted from around the corner in the direction of the rotunda. I holstered my pistol - no use contributing to the panic by running around with a gun in my hand - and fought my way east through the frantic crowd, past the entrance to Sears. The crowd had thinned out by the time I got to the corner and turned right toward the rotunda, but I couldn’t see shit. What the hell.
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