I later learned she had been a second team All-American incollege basketball, which didn't surprise me. She was in her latetwenties, and still looked like she could dominate on the court.The tryouts went better than I hoped. I found out how fast this bodywas, and how strong for its size. I was talented but raw. I needed tohave my skills developed and refined. That's what Joyce told me when shetold me she was putting me on the J-V team. That didn't surprise ordisappoint me at all. It takes really outstanding talent for a freshmanto make varsity; in a lot of places, it isn't allowed at all, no matterhow good the player is. What did surprise me was that Joyce told me shewas going to take personal charge of my development. I suppose if I hadbeen born female, my intuition would have been telling me something, butbeing a late recruit to the feminine team, I was clueless.She started having me practice with the varsity, in addition to my J-Vpractice. I was starting to feel a little ragged,. So I guess this problem was all her and not me. She is the one who strayed, and because she got away with it once, she tried for a second time. Since I never caught on, I guess she felt she could continue, and I would be none the wiser.It pained me deeply that she had just thrown me to the wayside; it was like she was dumping week old garbage into the can. I was like that to her. Somehow she lost her respect for me and our marriage, and she turned against me. I'm sure that there was still some love for me, or we would not be having sex so often, but that intimacy was now gone for me, circling the drain just like our marriage. God I'm so glad that we never had children. If we had I might have stayed for their sake, but then too they may not have even been mine, who knows.I made my excuses and made a point to take my pill in front of Janice before going down the other hall to the spare room. I undressed and lay on my stomach and cried into the pillow. It reminded me of a couple of old.
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