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“Hi, Babe!” she said happily when she answered the phone. “How did it go last night?”“Bad,” I said truthfully. I told her what had happened and how Cheryl had been toward me all day today. “Can you go over there and make sure she’s okay?” I asked her.“You’re not there with her?” she asked, surprised.“Nope. I wanted to talk it out, but she didn’t want me around. The last real conversation we had was her comparing sex this morning to the guys that hurt her that weekend. After that, she shut down on me.”“Oh SHIT!” she breathed. “I’ll go right over and see what I can do for her. Where are you?”“Out walking,” I told her. “Just give me a call later and let me know how it went.”“Are you okay?” she asked gently.“She compared the situation to the weekend where the guys raped her while we were in bed together,” I pointed out. “I feel unclean on a level I’d never thought was possible before. No, I’m not okay.”“Where are you?” she asked again. “I’ll meet you and we can talk about it. You didn’t. I felt truly torn from my precious garden, truly plucked out of my life. I was lost for a good many days. Too many for me to count, that all seemed to blur that I was once suddenly surprised by the grey I was beginning to sprout. By now, my pain was still acute, but I lived with it more comfortably, as much as I lived with his memory. I’ve tried to do my best to spread his teaching and found to have a green-thumb. I grow all sorts of things now, but mostly hope and understanding. My fingers furrow the warm soil and I remember how it felt to have his hair run through them. I water the seeds and remember how sometimes, I would weep over his shoulder. I would carefully tend, each and every one of my newfound children as I recalled how he would pat and sooth my worries through his gentle touch. Other people join me for awhile, here and there and I tell them of our smiles. I tell them of the sun glowing over your shoulder. I tell them of how simple our love was. Not too many understand,.
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