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In any case for me it hadto do with whom I identified with, namely my mother rather than myfather. That combined with an abundance of curiosity as to what being awoman was like provided the impetus for experimentation. For me thatexperimentation occurred whenever my parents and brother were notaround.Yes, I raided my mothers lingerie drawer. I had to know what all thatsilky and wonderful clothing felt like. I had to know what it was liketo wear stockings and high heels and dresses. What started as acuriosity became a compulsion, a compulsion wherein each tentative stepled to the next. Lingerie led to dresses led to high heels led to wigsled to makeup, if you are reading this you know about the evolution of acrossdresser and have likely traveled the same path. There was a freedomand yes a sexual aspect to it.Growing up I was not particularly interested in the standard and overtmacho role nor was I effeminate. I stood in the middle somewhere.Growing up in the 1960's gender roles were. He could hardly remember the time before he was around and had the distinct feeling that when his son eventually started school, it was going to be him, not Matthew, who suffered separation anxiety. Matthew had his mother’s eyes but the rest of him was the mirror image of his dad. They had the same walk, the same stance, identical mannerisms. Master Matthew even had the same intimidating glare as his father, a glare often focused on the submissive tattletale in the house: Virgil the fluffy dog-moose. Virgil may have been submissive to Donovan but he was pure Dominant when it came to looking after Matthew and his cousin Jeremy. Nothing got past Virgil’s watchful eyes no matter how hard Matthew or Jeremy might try. Bad choices never had the chance to happen due to Virgil’s vigilance. Donovan wasn’t quite sure how Virgil always knew when trouble was on the horizon but he did and dutifully alerted the closest adult. Climbing on the garden wall? Not on Virgil’s watch. Stealing cookies.
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