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I was trying to show, through humor, how I wasn't like all those other guys. And by doing so I was exactly like all those other guys. Except that I suck at reading women and thus I don't know when it's time to bail out. And I'm telling this penis joke when we're alone, in the park downtown, at night. Could I have been any more skeezy?So she suddenly stands up. Furious. Hands on her hips and everything."I swear to God," she said, "you men are all alike! It's always about that thing in your pants!"Guilty as charged.Then she said something weird. At the time I thought maybe she pitied me.Now I realize she was cursing me. As in, putting a curse on me.She said: "That Dick of yours is going to ruin your life."And then she slapped me. So hard I saw stars. Everything went white.When I came to, I was sprawled out on the ground next to the park bench. It was dawn. Damn, she hit me hard. Fucking Tae-Bo.I picked myself up, went home, rubbed one out, and slept away the rest of the long. “Don’t embarrass me.”I slid on my basketball shorts. (My boxers had been lost somewhere) Then, climbing into the driver’s seat, I pulled out from the parking lot and onto the road, my still-naked lover in the passenger seat beside me.That’s where he belongs. Beside me.“Hey.”“Hey.”“Why am I naked?”The euphoria from sex had seemed to have worn off, and Ryan squirmed awkwardly, nakedly, in his seat.He leaned over and lightly kissed my cheek.“You’re taking me home?”“Yeah. Your dad’s gonna slaughter us for being late.”He chuckled. “You’re so sexy. You should stay up all night with me, instead.”I rolled my eyes, giving him a ‘heh’ in reply.“I’m telling you, you’re dad is gonna freak.”“Yes! Yes! You’ve said that a million times!”He retreated to stare out the window at the white streaks of headlights on the other side of the road……“Hey, Ben.”“Hey.”“What kind of people do you think are in those cars, always heading the opposite direction we are?"“Idiots.”He sighed. “Give me a real answer,.
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