For a moment, he looked every bit of his seventy-one years.“Jack, I spent hours, days, writing down what I wanted to say. I practiced over and over until even my dogs would run from the room. Now that we are here, now that you are here, none of that seems all that important.” He sounded tired. Earnest, but tired.“There is absolutely no reason for you to trust me, but I hope I can convince you that if I had known, if I had had an inkling of what Everett had been up to, I would have drowned that boy at birth.” he said, the anger and heartache in his voice enough to make my breath catch in my throat. “I cannot, even now, years later and after years of therapy, I cannot even comprehend what might have caused this, what happened in his head to make him do those horrible, horrible things.”I sat and stared at this ... poor old man. I watched the tears track down his weathered and wrinkled cheeks, and I saw the anguish in his eyes. I saw pain and loss, horror and fear, I saw a man deeply. In addition, whenever I talked to girls it seemed like they were alwaysshifting the conversation to their positive stance on gay rights, Iwasn't sure why they were doing this as I hadn't brought up the topic ofgays. I remember one girl saying to me, "I completely support your rightto marry your boyfriend." I tried telling her I wasn't gay and didn'thave a boyfriend, but she gave me a blank look when I did. It occurredto me that although gays are a small percentage of the population it isvery easy to be perceived as being one of them.Over the weekend my Stepmother said, "This week you move into acomprehensive female look: a yellow mid-riff sweater, a short yellowpleated mini-skirt, silk white panties, with black high heels, whitegarter belts and stockings. Also, full makeup, including blue eyeshadow. You will wear a yellow bow on the back of your blonde hair thatwill be styled in an updo. And on your ears some nice dangling blackearrings. Of course your fingernails and toenails will be.
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