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It satisfied a deep psychological need, and italso sexually aroused me. I figured out that not only was I female inmy core, but I had a transformation fantasy as well. Kiki called it atwo-fer. I was a woman, but I also found sexual desire in the act of mybody changing from the male to the female. I later found writings thatsuggested that this was how I helped satisfy my "inner girl," since Ihad chosen to forego transition.I accepted who I was, but at the same time, my male body posed achallenge. As I mentioned, I'm no Adonis, but there was no mistakingthis body as anything but male. I simply did not believe transitioningwas for me. I felt more comfortable in my current body than I believedI would with the roll of the dice on how HRT and SRS would make me look.I basically wanted there to be no doubt, ever, of my womanhood."Well, for starters, I'm scared it just won't work. But I'm also scaredthat it will work, but not enough. You know how much I'm afraid oflooking, well,. Bonzer, won't be in, tomorrow. He will be at MY house, finishing what he started today. He made me sing like a nightingale 3 times this morning. He is absolutely fabulous. He is coming to finish the job, tomorrow, at MY request. You can see some of the results of his attention, running down my legs, if you look closely. The rest of the results are deep inside me. ALSO at my request. If you want to follow in his "footsteps," you have but to say so. I can meet you HERE, you may come to MY home, or, if you wish, we can go to a hotel or motel of YOUR choosing. I have been celibate for 16 years, and am trying to make up for lost time, so tell me where and when you want to meet me." Mr Pollard smiled at her and stated, "Thank You, for the kind offer, but this is all I can manage. A look, or a feel, is all I can do. I haven't been able to perform in bed for many years. I wish I could, but time, injuries, and illness have cost me an irreversable toll. Perhaps some pictures of you, but that.
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