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I want to do my own thing. Elijah Morrison and I exchanged numbers that day at the Rideau Center, and I added him on Facebook a day later. That’s how it all began, ladies and gentlemen. The relationship that changed my life. Elijah and I began talking on the phone a lot, and then began seeing each other. On our first outing, Elijah took me to the Silver City movie theater in the east end of Ottawa, and we watched a horror movie, Dracula Untold. Not big on horror movies but this one was fun. Only thing I didn’t like about the movie is the portrayal of Turkish Muslim warriors as cruel and dull, while the Romanians, especially Dracula and his family, were portrayed as stalwart. Give me a break, folks. I did like the vampire battles at the end of the movie, though. Definitely better than what I saw in the Twilight films, that’s for damn sure. After the movie, Elijah took me to the Blair Mall and we ate some Chinese food, and then went for a walk. I live near Baseline Road, not far from. .. Chris had made him happy. She was the one who was actually responsible for the success of the project. She was also responsible for something else ... the lump in my pants. There's a button in a man somewhere, and when a woman like Chris suggests he have dinner with her, that button gets pushed. It's a little like one of those things that Jet pilots wear, where if they have to ditch in the ocean, they pull a cord and presto - something inflates.You can't help it, even when you feel bad about it, like I did. Chris was a nice girl. I could just tell. She wasn't a hot-blooded virgin, like the woman who wrote my grocery list, and was primed for steamy sex, with a guy who I hoped was me, who was definitely primed for some hot, steamy sex. No, Chris wasn't like that woman, which is why I felt kind of bad about that boner. But a boner doesn't have a conscience, and mine was yelling at me."Hey! Stupid ... I'm down here!" it was yelling. "You let her get away, you dufus!" Shut up!" I said.
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