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I woke to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a burglar sneaking through next door's garden.Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.Astonished, I got back into bed.My wife said, "Darling, you're shaking, what is it?" You'll never believe what I've just seen!" I said, "That tosser next door has still got my bloody shovel."A man is seeking to join the Vancouver Police force. The Sergeant doing the interview says:"Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted." Then, sliding a pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, he says: "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six drug dealers, six activists, and a rabbit."The man being interviewed asks, "Why the rabbit?" Excellent!" says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"From the 'Shy One'Performance Evaluation. . Okay. Well that sounds like you enjoy life," I replied, not sure what to say. "Of course I do, but I'm lacking something, someone. I'm proposing that maybe we can get to know each other on a personal level?" He said pouring me and him another drink giving me a wink. I wasn't sure what to think at this point. I wasn't down for just a cheap one nighter, for him to add my name to his little black book of people he has fucked. "Ermm... well..." I managed to say before he interrupted. "I don't want this to go any further tonight than just a chat and a drink. I'm not asking for anything more I promise." he said. He sounded so genuine that time and I couldn't believe that I was falling for it. But he had this charm, a charm that I hadn't seen in anyone else at all. "Tell me a little bit about yourself," Lucifer said. "Well I'm twenty-one, I work in a DIY store and I'm a university student. There's not much else to say to be honest," I replied. We sat in his office for seemed like forever..
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