” Answered Jack.“Did you try what I showed you with your wife?”“Mmmm, yup, when I got home, I thought I’d try it straight away. So I stripped off, got her clothes off, then I thought ‘what do i lay her on’ then I spotted the ironing board. So I lays her on that. Then I thought ‘what do I hold my left testical up with’ I know a piece of string from it to the light fitting, I just got on top of her when the ironing board collapsed. That’s why I’m walking like this.”Paddy goes to the doctor with a problem.“So, Paddy, what’s the matter?” asked the doc.“Well it’s like this, I’ve got 9 kids already and I don’t need the wife pregnant again. What’ll I do, I got enough.”“I can put your wife on the pill” the doc says.“The what.”“You know, the contraceptive pill. But you must wear a rubber for a month till she becomes protected”“A what? A rubber what?”“You obviously haven’t a clue what I’m on about, here duck into this alley, I happen to have on one means I’ll show you how to wear it. And. As Veronica was preparing to dine alone, in her guest room, as a break from the hectic round of dinners with the Emir, her step-mother, her sister and her niece in various combinations, the telephone rang in the guest suite."Hullo," she said, wondering who might be telephoning her here."Good evening, Countess," said a pleasant tenor voice, "Allow me to introduce myself, since nobody else has seen fit to do so. I am Crown Prince Mustapha, the eldest son of the Emir. We met once at Stapleford Grange many years ago, while I was still at school."Veronica had only rarely visited her father after his second marriage, but she vaguely remembered an olive-skinned boy resplendent in cricket whites coming in to the Hall after playing at Sandiacre Cricket Club, and the following morning seeing him leaving in his black blazer and cap to go to school. A quick check of her dates left her guessing that he must be in his early twenties now."Yes," she replied, "I vaguely remember you. What can I do for.
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