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One Wednesday afternoon, Alex texted me to say he was super horny and coming over. I replied saying I had something in mind but he better be quick. I dropped my shorts and low and behold, I was wearing a red speedo (I’m Dave Speedo Evans, of course, I was wearing a speedo).Then I placed a wooden chair from my tiny dinner table in my tiny living room. I grabbed some rope out of my room (again, of course, I have rope). First, I tied my legs to the chair, then I tied my torso to the chair, I blindfolded and gagged myself with tape and then I used handcuffs to tie my arms behind me. I could untie myself but it would take me a while.Every car that I could hear drive past got my heart racing. Finally, Alex’s car pulled out the front. Well, what I hoped was Alex’s car. He rapped his knuckles on the front door and opened it (everyone just walks into my house). Alex was about to announce his arrival and was stopped halfway through the word, "Dave." 'How are you doing mate?' Would have been. . yes, I’m sure. Be gentle. Enjoy.” I handed Pilar her first month of birth control pills. A gift from her mother. She accepted solemnly.She’ll be fine, our Pilar.Irony is woven in to the fabric of our lives, isn’t it? Maybe not for those who lead essentially shallow lives, unexamined lives. But most of us experience incongruities, wry coincidences, odd paradoxes, as we stumble along.I’m in counseling. Seeing Dr. Lindsey Conners three mornings a week. I resisted it for the usual dumb reasons. I’m tough. I’m fine. Don’t need any help.But that Oasis investigation. One of my Irregulars, Birdy Cummings, had her head blown off by a pointblank shotgun.Horrific as that was, my family -- Walker, Vanessa, Pilar -- were targeted to be killed by Greta Gunther. Me too, but by that time I wouldn’t have much cared. Or maybe some deep rage would have had me fighting to the bitter end.In any case, I found myself exploding awake, heartbeat in Emergency Room ranges, gasping for air. Breathless. Other.
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