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“I’ll see you at 6:00 pm.”...At 5:30 pm, my phone rang.“I figured out my stuff earlier than expected,” Kevin said. “Tell your other suitors to exit through the back door, and then buzz me in.”Without dignifying his wisecrack with a response, I pressed the button on my phone to let him in the apartment building, and I hung up.While one of the few musicals on the AFI 100 list played on my flat screen TV, I untucked my legs from the blanket on my bed, jostling the popcorn bowl. I ambled to the front door, which I opened before Kevin could knock.“Kiss?”I gave him a peck on the lips. “What have you determined?”“Straight, no chaser?” He stepped inside, removed his shoes, locked the door behind him, and set a large take-out bag on the kitchen counter. “Come with me.”He led me back to the bedroom and turned off my television.“But Tony was just about to meet a girl named Maria,” I protested. “Spoiler for a movie you've already seen 20 times: they don't live happily ever after. Lie down.” He. "Jesus continued stuttering."No! You're coming home right now, and I'll have none of your fucking smartmouth with me, you little gobshite!"The light suddenly glowed bright white over Jesus, and in a sudden lightning flash, his body flopped limply, held up on the cross only by the palms of his nailed hands and feet. All of the colour had drained from his skin, turning it pale grey. He was now just a lifeless rotting corpse."And as for you, you fucking little harlot!"The beacon of light dimmed slightly, as it focused it's beam all around me."I saw what you did to my boy! Because I am God, and I see everything! ...Say sweetcheeks, how about I pull a Zeus on your sweet ass, and come down there disguised as a big-dicked bull, and have you give me some of that attention with your slutty holes?" Uhhh..."I just gawped like a mind-melted moron, trying to process what the hell is happening."Wait a minute, how old are you again?"The voice suddenly questioned me."Um.. 28."I answered."28?! ...I.
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