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No one ever wrote to Proctor and Gamble to tell them how effective their washing powder was on cats.There was always a problem with the geese, the goat and the dog, which would follow you down the road if you went out, and to cap it all there were chickens. Father, when asked what he did for a living on one occasion said 'Poultry Advisor'. When we asked what he meant he told us he could advise anyone not to keep them. In those days you could inject a pill into the male birds to turn them into 'capons' basically I think a sort of chemical neutering, and we did quite few of these, by the hundred actually. Whether this chemical had any effect on the humans who consumed them I have no idea, but I do have three children, who have qualified me to become a 'Parent Advisor'. I'm sure you can work out what that entails!And then there was the vicar, a genuine self sufficiency addict. He had, he told me, a problem with rabbits that were eating his vegetables. He had a reasonably sized tree. He stopped dead in his tracks—so fast that his kicks squeeked on the concrete floor. He knew he was caught, and the shit was about to hit the fan. He slowly walks toward me, hangin his head. As he nears , I said to him “ suckin dick, or gettin high”? He replied with “just getting a buzz, yo” As he got in front of me I reached up and slapped him up side the head. The shock on his face told him that he had fucked up. “Buzz my hairy ass—it's been 20 minutes since I was in here—that ain't no fuckin buzz. You two reek of dope. Com'on. I shoved him through the door pretty hard, and as we exited the store, I grab his left shoulder, and put the squeeze to it. Wrapping my other arm around his neck, and resting it on his right shoulder, and breathing hard down his neck, I point down the street. “See ur twin” ? “Yes sir” “He's workin a deal while you and fuck head here are fuckin off. You thinkin I might be a little pissed "? "Yes sir, boss" . You get ur fuckin dick hard, get ur cute little.
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