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”Heather’s jaw dropped in disbelief. She might have even put her hands to her mouth in an excited fashion. “Oh my God! That’s exactly what I did too!”“So, you watch The Simpsons?” Jared said, nearly just as excited.“Are you kidding? I grew up on The Simpsons. Never missed it,” Heather admitted.“Really?” Jared said, surprised. “I would have had you figured for a Seinfeld kind of girl,” he said, mimicking her tone from earlier.“Ugh, Seinfeld’s gross,” Heather said, making the same face he had used when discussing mustard.What happened for the next forty minutes was a flurry of conversation. A conversation that, to someone not fully versed in both NRBQ and The Simpsons, would have probably sounded like a foreign language. They discussed favorite songs and favorite albums for a while and then segued into favorite episodes, seasons, and characters.“My wife, she just doesn’t get The Simpsons,” Jared commented sometime later. “Every time it comes on, Lisa just leaves the room.”Heather. That’s what I had become and when a girl put her foot in my face or offered to let me kiss it, I would melt before her and worship her feet. Janice knew it for sure now. She could see me, on my knees before her, sniffing her dirty foot, ready to do anything she commanded. She started snickering and pulled her foot away from my face and re-crossed her legs. I was broken like a little dog about to eat a steak when it’s suddenly yanked away from him; out of his reach, perhaps, forever. I actually whined for an instant but tried to quickly recover. Her other saddle shoe was now in my face and I began to untie and loosen the laces. I slid it from her foot and looked up at her. She smiled and said, “Sniff the shoe, doggie.”I pressed the shoe to my face and breathed in the aroma of her sweat. Her foot odor was not repulsive at all to me; in fact it was beginning to smell like perfume. She didn’t let me sniff for long and quickly ordered me to put the shoe down and remove her sock. Again I.
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