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That put her back up too and her feisty side came to the fore. "I'll have you know Mr. Know-it-all, that I'm pretty good at painting and decorating. I rented my own house for five years and had to do that up after years of neglect too. I daresay I can paint just as good as you."For a moment I was stunned by her outburst but Ma grinned and laughed at us. "Now then you two, don't start squabbling already. Take her with you Bobby and if she's no good, she can stay here tomorrow. Give her one of your work shirts to cover herself. Now git going."Neither of us was in the mood for the other's company and we sat in heavy silence on the short journey to the house and she feigned indifference when I explained what painting needed doing. At least she helped moving the scaffold boards on to the low trestles ready for painting the ceiling.I had to acknowledge Kath was right, she was at least as good at decorating as I was and made far less mess. On a wet day a month or so previously, I had washed. But what happens then? What if it doesn’t work out the way we imagine it will every night? Who knows why, but I think it’s a valid fear. And if we leave it unsaid, we will continue to have our hearts scream at us. One word. Put into a sentence, three words total. I feel it, I know I do. I’m just so freakin’ afraid to say it. It’s almost as though as soon as it is said, the floodgates will open, and god only knows what will happen afterwards. And what if we meet other people in our regular, day to day lives? You know as well as I do it’s a possibility. Although you seem to think it’ll happen to me first, I truly believe that it could happen with you too. And it’s also a fear of mine. What if I put myself out on the line and get crushed when you reveal to me that you’ve found someone closer to you, someone you can actually be with? Oh, the thought kills me. And I know you worry about it too. The way you lightly joke about it belies how serious a concern it is for you. I know if I make.
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