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Wednesday, March 7th, 2007 (Early Evening)All right now, I think I have come to grips with things, at least aswell as I can. I've been in this female body and life for what I guessis about eight hours. I think I am beginning to accept things as theyare, though I still have small panic fits.I've decided to describe to you some of my current sensations. In aweird way writing all of this both keeps my mind off of my currentsituation and helps me come to grips with it. It's also dawned on methat this may not last so, like a true guy, I must take advantage of thesituation!You are also probably wondering why I am sharing these intimate thoughtswith all of you, well the answer is simple. The way I figure it no onewho actually meets me at this point would ever believe me, so I guessthe people reading this are my only connection to my old "guyness" andthat reality. I need to tell someone!Ummm ok, now where to begin. I guess, to start with, I am sitting hereon the standard computer chair typing. That night, I had a hard time falling asleep. All I could think about was the woman at the market. How did such a fine lady end up with that miserable man? Why did she stay with him? In some ways, she reminded me of Monica. When my thinking drifted in that direction, I found myself feeling guilty. My wife had just passed and I was thinking about another woman. There was no connection. I tried to convince myself of that. I wasn’t looking for a companion, I was just trying to save a mistreated dog. Then I felt bad that I was putting my market lady in the same class as a dog. Scrambled eggs and microwave sausages tasted good the next morning. I even made some coffee in a $9.99 coffee pot. As I was finishing my eggs, I found myself making a grocery list for the next week. When I realized what I was subconsciously doing, I couldn’t help but snicker. It was a long week. I bought a new shirt and pants, but couldn’t convince myself to buy shoes. Everything that I was doing was based on the.
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