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Steve and I help mom around the house and have not had a serious argument since his passing. We have dinner together every night and live a pretty normal life. However, that all started to change about a year ago…I got home late one night last spring and could not, for the life of me, find my phone charger. The light in Steve’s room was still on, and his door was slightly cracked. We have the same phone, and I had some late night texting to do, and it’s not like he ever talks to anyone, so I poked my head in to see if I could borrow his charger. Now, I said earlier that Steve was only blessed with brains and the superhuman ability to get on my nerves. That was a bit of a lie. You see, there sprawled out on his bed, passed out in his boxers, lay Steve. Protruding from the hole in his boxers was his penis, laid out across his leg, and then some. Now, being a teenage girl, I had somewhat of an obsession with large penises (which I assume is normal at some point in every girl’s life).. You’re going to have to call on more commanding forces than I have available. You’re going to have to go see the Wuzard. LIBERTY: The Wuzard? Who’s that? NADER: Not who, my dear, what? LIBERTY: Well…. What then? NADER: The Wuzard of U.S. Congress, I mean. The bad boys on the Hill. Everyone knows about the Wuzard. The Wuzard acts on everyone’s behalf. Everything that happens here in Yuppie town and everywhere else that counts has to be approved by the Wuzard. You oughta know that. Liberty was offended. LIBERTY: I didn’t come from a corn field you know. I come from New York City. NADER (impressed): New York City. Oh. Well that explains it. LIBERTY: So how do I get to the Wuzard? NADER: It’s a long, twisted way you have to go, poor child. You wouldn’t happen to have any money with you, would you? LIBERTY: No NADER: Too bad. That’s a problem. It’s really hard to get to the Wuzard without money these days. That’d have been a great help. I used to take the grass roots route but I ran out.
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