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"Hello, my name is Eve. It's been a while since someone used me. I have a twin sister named Eva, but we've been separated since our crash."John was curious. "What in holy heck are you?"Eve replied to his question. "My apologies sir, I'm a virtual living intelligence."He looked at her with fascination. She seemed so real. "Alright, what can you do Eve?"Eve teleported beside him. "I can control any software. If you find me some software and place it in the computer drive, I can scan it."John looked around his room. "Damn, I don't play many PC games. Wait...my sister gave me the Sims 4 last year for my birthday, maybe that could work." He placed the Sims 4 game in the second drive."Analysis complete Mr. Doe. Please feel free to use me however you wish."John looked at his monitor, and saw that it showed his mother cooking dinner. "What the heck, that's my mother. Eve, what's going on?"Eve replied to his question. "I have used the software you inserted as the basis for a virtual reality in. Knowing it’s being stroked by your filthy keyboard... so fucking hot. A massive motif like that makes me drip like no other. Your throbbing syntax just turned this horny little bitch intertextually-fluid.Now hurry up and fill my fuckbox, you teasing bastard. Don’t make me wait.==========Subject Line: Why Are You Ignoring Me???VioletVixen: It’s been days since I’ve woken up to your steamy message nestled in my slutty inbox.I miss you so fucking much. Why can’t you give me what I want? You know how much I strive to be the best writer-wench there ever was, the one, Grusha. I can’t do that without you filling me with inspiration.You leave me no choice but to rub one off in the subject line. Alone.==========Subject Line: Take This, Word-WhoreGrushaVashnadze: You fucking needy, clichéd cumslut.Is acting like a pathetic pastiche the best trope you can come up with?If you want my message up your tight inbox, slut, you’re gonna have to fucking beg for it. Go on, tell me how much you fucking.
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