We were two outsiders.I introduced myself and asked if we were in the same form. Then there was silence. She hadn’t said anything. She hadn’t answered my question. She was looking at me like I was mad. Finally she reached out a hand to shake mine, saying “Hi, I’m Alice. Yeah we’re in the same form. Is there anything I can help you with?” She said it in that tone she’d use when showing first-years around on an open-day. She looked just the type of respectable teenager who’d be asked to show first-years and their parents around on open-days.My builder bravado kicked in.“Yeah, actually, there is. Can you show me where the cafeteria is please?”She kicked up the responsible student attitude a notch and looked seriously concerned, muttering soothingly about how it was awful I hadn’t been shown around properly. She started to give directions, but I played dumb and pleaded “Can you just show me, please? It’ll be easier.”Easier? Who was I kidding? She didn’t seem easily convinced but in the. .Hmm..Pls kuch faltu baat mat karna..I request you.Me: nahi..Dont worry, tum apne bete se bahut pyaar karti hogi na..Jo ye sab kar rahi ho..Mom: jaisa b hai..I love him very much..Me: mujhe b aisa pyaar karo na plsMom: fir chalu, pls kya bol rahe ho..Me: mujhe b pyaar chaiye..I really love yuMom: pls..Dont startMe: hmm..Ok..Jaisa bolo..Par pls ek request manogi pls..Dekho I know I have the video and all par ek request karna chahta hu..And ye genuine wala request hai..Pls mana mat karnaMom: kyaMe: mujhe apne paas sula lo na ekdm chipka k..I want to sleep like a baby bina tension, pls aisa karogi..Mom: kya faltu baat hai..Ye kaise hogaMe: nahi I dont meant asli mein..Bas in msg just pretend tum mujhe sula rahi ho and I m sleeping beside you pls..Mom: okMe: kya main ekdm tight se chipak k so jau tumseMom: haa so jaoMe: ekdm chipak gaya hu tumse, ek leg tumhare upar rakh diya hai nd ekdm tight se pakad liya hai tumhe.Mom: hmm..Me: (i thought I was hitting the right notes..And I was.
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