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"Non! Je sais que vous vous inquiétez mais elle va bien. Le danger est passé et elle dort, ce que vous ferez aussi si vous ne vous contrôlez pas." Damn it Jimmy, relax! Do you think I would have said it was good news if she wasn't okay? Now lay the fuck down and behave yourself, or so help me, I'll bubble your ass and handle this myself."I collapsed back against the bed and said, "Your bedside manner sucks."The nurse was coming back in with a glass of water and some ice chips."Oh yeah, and you're just a dream of a patient."The doctor took the water and the ice, set the ice on the small table next to the bed, and spoke to the nurse. "Merci. Les rideaux, s'il vous plaît, peut-être qu'un peu de soleil lui fera du bien."He held the water up for me to sip, pulling it back after I took just a little then returning it once I had swallowed. That first swallow always feels like someone is dragging a ball of barbed wire down your throat, but it gets better quickly. After the third sip, I felt. Schwartz,> about to be cremated,> and made a startling discovery.> Schwartz had the largest private part> he had ever seen!> "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician> commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated> with such an impressive private part.> It must be saved for posterity."> So, he removed it,> stuffed it into his briefcase,> and took it home> "I have something to show> you won't believe," he said to his wife,> opening his briefcase.> "My God!" the wife exclaimed,> "Schwartz is dead!">>> The 4th Affair>> A woman was in bed with her lover> when she heard her husband> opening the front door.> "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner;> She rubbed baby oil all over him,> then dusted him with talcum powder.> "Don't move until I tell you,"> she said, " pretend you're a statue."> "What's this?" the husband inquired> as he entered the room.> "Oh it's a statue," she replied,> "the Smiths bought one and I liked it> so I got one for us, too."> No more was said,> not even when they went.
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