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"I waited for a few moments, then turned the lamp on and rolled to face her. She was so mad she was beautiful. I couldn't help myself, I started smiling at her."Would your tire thumper make this picture complete, my dear?"It took her about five minutes to realize she had been had. I watched the play of emotions across her face as she figured it out, and finally I couldn't hold back any longer and busted out laughing."Oh my God, Harry, when did you figure it out?" When you wouldn't meet my eyes. I knew then that you four were hatching another plot to get me to do what you wanted. Honey, just because I'm a man and haven't been married for a long time, it doesn't mean I have forgotten just how devious women can be. You can only pull the wool over my eyes a couple of times before my inner guard starts watching for more plots from you guys. I may be a man and love all of you, but that doesn't mean I am stupid or never catch on to what's going on around me. For your information, I had. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, “Children, I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these.”The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped.“I’ll give you a hint,” said the teacher. “It’s something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time.”Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted, “Quick! Spit’em out! They’re assholes!”So Little Johnny’s teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it.One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says “teacher, I’ll bet you.
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