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The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This compliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that. He laughed“No doubt you will. Make sure when you find me that you know where my precious goddess is hidden. I want her. This one is just for myself.”His footsteps retreated and she pushed against the door only to find it blocked. She fought her way through the clothing in the closet to the door at the opposite end and opened it quietly into the adjacent bedroom. She could hear him on the stairs already and when she opened the bedroom door she saw only the top of his short blond hair disappearing down the stairs.She fell back on the bed and heard the front door close. He was gone.Her relief was short-lived as she heard the back door slam and then slam again. She ran to the open window to see the blond man turn down the alley and Wesley come off the back porch. She leaned out the window and yelled.“He has a knife, Wes. Don’t chase him!”Wesley turned and looked up at her in surprise, torn for a moment between whether to pursue the intruder or to be sure that Rebecca was unharmed. In an.
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