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They must have shared whathappened to me with one another or they took part in playingwith the sexual toy they had found. I'm glad I finallyput it together, but I'm really fucked up. I alwayswondered where all those little pieces came from becauseI never had sex with anyone.....(as far as I could remember).I must have been 20 years old when it happened. My cousinnever brought it up again. He must have thought I was crazynot to remember, but Toyal does that to your brain. Theymust have kept me snorting the stuff for hours, almost atotal black out. 35 or 40 years later it all falls into place.I thought those images were from something I that happenedwhen I was younger 10 or 12 years old with my cousin. I'mstill getting little flashes as I write this down. Mostof the guys that were there were X-Cons. One of the guys hadhis girl friend there...she must have watched while I straddledhim so he could fuck me in the ass....also at some point threeyoung Ladies came over. I ended up in a. So i asked her if it was ok to go out and spend some time to get to know each other, she denied as was nto comfortable and preferred to talk at home since we were neighbours. I had no other option than agree at that moment. I went close to her held her hand and said, its not just physical relation i am interetsed in but i would also like to be there for and so she does not feel lonely. She felt better listening to it and she responded by holding both my hands. I kissed her forehead and left. Later she invited me for coffee that evening and wile discussing she got to know about my relation with a few girls earlier, there were tears in her eyes and i didnt understand. When i asked her, she said,” she was feeling the need for me and she could not accept the fact me having a relation with anybody else.I convinced her it was a past and now i like her, and we need to decide on continuin our relation. She hugged me and started crying. I didnt feel anything until now as a touch of a woman.
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